The ever so lovely Mishma asked me to write a post for her. Obviously, I charged her a fee [because
Your number one goal is followers, yes? When you start your blog, you're at zero and no one wants to be a zero. Do as many memes as it takes to get your blog into the quadruple digits - like mine. Two memes in one day? Go for it!
- ARCs. They determine your progress.
Requesting ARCs is mandatory. Don't worry about being a newbie. Publishers will see that you're fabulous [if you follow all of these tips] so even if you're only a week old, the pubs will be begging to send your ARCs.
- Friends are overrated.
It's so beneath you to have to talk to other bloggers who obv aren't as good as you. Have a twitter but only post links to your blog for more traffic. Don't bother following anyone back because developing "relationships" is stupid.
- So is commenting on others blogs.
Commenting back takes FOREVER. Why bother? Spend that time working on new content!
- Reviews: the longer, the better!
Make sure you've got a good length to your reviews. This means at least two thousand words. Why would anyone want to read a short review? They aren't helpful... AT ALL! Like people want to know what you think of the book, right down to the core. Remember that you can never write too much.
- Oh your design? You're broke so you can't afford a fancy schmancy one - DIY!
Not everyone is a designer, that's for sure. But you're a super blogger. You can do anything. Stay up all night working on a new blog design [with software you don't know how to use] and then show it off. If you have to, get images from Google without purchasing the royalties - hey, life is rough.
- Tag authors in your reviews on twitter so they'll RT it and give you more followers.
It's genius! The best is to annoy the crap out of them by tagging them multiple times. After all, you are the best blogger ever. Really, they should be grateful that you're reading their book.
- Promo Posts
When you promote an author, it means that they'll definitely post about you on their twitter. You should promote them so you get promotion in return. If you have to, join different blog tour companies and sign up for everything. If you can't post, just fade out of existence and hope the tour organizer forgets.
- Reading is a race and you must come in first.
At the beginning of the year, every blogger does their best to set a goodreads goal. Your job? Set one that's higher than everyone else's and then crush it so people can look at you in awe. Whether that means read longer, stay up all night or even read short books to get ahead - you decide.
- Be formal, professional, dignified.
When publishers look at posts, they want to see someone professional. Don't use contractions and make sure there are no gifs. The only thing that's acceptable is images that are made by you. Personality is always a bad idea because then people don't take you seriously - they think you're childish.